


we can be miracles

by orphan_account



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Abandoned Work - Unfinished and Discontinued, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-29
Updated: 2019-11-29
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:48:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21607831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: found this mess deep in my google docs folder and thought i'd share. i miss jungwoo a lot.
Relationships: Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Kim Jungwoo
Kudos: 7





	we can be miracles

**Author's Note:**

> found this mess deep in my google docs folder and thought i'd share. i miss jungwoo a lot.

Jungwoo is first told _it won't be easy_ when someone else pulls him to the side, hand on his shoulder and says exactly that.

His name is Johnny. He's tall and his Korean isn't quite fluent, but he looks Jungwoo in the eyes and says, _“Listen. It's going to be hell and it's going to hurt, but we're all here for the same thing and we need each other.”_ He pauses, gives Jungwoo a chance to take in the whole thing, while all Jungwoo can do is blink at him in the brightly lit hallway.

He nods, once, and then Johnny says, _“We all need each other. The more brutal it becomes, the more support we need. Don't forget that.”_

***

Jungwoo's roommate is a guy called Lucas. He's loud and Chinese and plays games on his iPad until he falls asleep.

Still, he's nice. Even if they're polar opposites and Lucas sometimes doesn't understand him, they get along well. And Lucas even tells him his iPad password so Jungwoo can play whatever game he wants.

Jungwoo is nothing like Lucas. Lucas is a rapper, he's taller and bigger and can talk himself out of any situation regardless of the language. And funny – really, really funny.

Jungwoo is nothing like Lucas.

“Do you think we'll debut together?” Lucas asks him, once, when Jungwoo is done washing his face and has strands of wet hair sticking to his forehead.

Jungwoo blinks at him. The question comes out of nowhere, though Jungwoo _knows_ Lucas by now. Knows that this isn't a recently occurring thought. Nothing new.

Lucas looks up at him from whatever he's playing, and Jungwoo looks right back. This isn't new, _really_ , but Jungwoo still isn't used to it.

So, Jungwoo just shrugs and says, “I don't know.” Because he doesn't.

Lucas lets his look linger, and says, “Yeah.” It's the blow in his chest that makes Jungwoo clear his throat, and speak again, _encouraging_.

“I mean, we joined around the same time, right?”

Lucas looks up at him. The smile on his face is small, but _Lucas_.

“Yeah,” he says And then, “Who else is going to translate for me during interviews?”

Jungwoo rolls his eyes at him and opens the window.

That's not new.

***

Jungwoo wakes up in the middle of the dance studio.

He blinks at the automatic lights as they flicker on, clutching the worn jacket he uses as a blanket, head spinning against the empty backpack his head lies on.

Doyoung watches him for a couple of beats before speaking. His voice is cool as he speaks. “You're going to miss dinner if you stay up here.”

Nothing about how or why Jungwoo is asleep in the dance studio; it's not out of the ordinary, after all.

Nothing new.

Jungwoo sits himself up, feels Doyoung's eyes on him the entire time. He takes a moment to rub his eyes before responding.

“I-Is it that late already?” His limbs ache.

Doyoung tilts his head at him. “How late is too late for you?”

Jungwoo stares. At Doyoung. Doyoung stares back. There's nothing malicious in his gaze – only onyx black seering right into him. It's not supposed to be intimidating, and it isn't, _really_ , but Jungwoo can't suppress that bubble in the pit of his stomach.

Jungwoo gulps, looks away as he stands. He sees the blur of his reflection in the mirror. His hair is a mess.

“Just a couple more rounds…” He starts, but then, there's a hand – _fingertips_ – on his shoulder that makes him pause entirely.

It's not something that Doyoung does often. Certainly not to him, at least. It's not new exactly, but that doesn't mean that Jungwoo is used to it. Touch, that is.

And Doyoung's eyes don't once draw away from him. Even as he swallows thickly and says, “Eat something before you sleep. You'll feel better.”

Jungwoo blinks. There's heat in his face, and he doesn't know why. Or maybe he does. Jungwoo doesn't know much, these days.

Then, those fingertips pull away. Doyoung turns around, and the double doors shut closed before Jungwoo can think of a reply.

***

He does come down for dinner. It's the same as it is every night, and Jungwoo finds that one portion isn't quite enough. Dancing is draining, after all, and no amount of water can hide that.

He's sandwiched in between Lucas and Yuta – a loud conversation, but welcomed all the same. If anything, it's comforting, having a conversation to follow rather than sitting in the silence of the dance studio.

Yet, even with all the chatter and exchanging condiments, Jungwoo's own eyes land on Doyoung more than he can count.

And, though he forces himself to look away each time, Jungwoo can't help but notice Doyoung push away his full plate.

***

Doyoung doesn't talk to him much. Mostly because they're not together in most situations, and even when they are, they don't _talk_. Not really. 

But Doyoung does touch him. A lot. It's mostly with fingers, mostly on Jungwoo's shoulder or arm or wrist. And the hand. Occasionally the hand.

(Because, that time, Jungwoo was daydreaming, and Doyoung _must_ have tried everything practical – because a brush of his index finger on Jungwoo's hand was enough to warp him right out of it.)

Jungwoo wants to say that he doesn't think much of it. He really does, but Doyoung's touch doesn't seem to linger on anyone else. Besides Jeno, maybe. And that's because Doyoung _loves_ and _adores_ Jeno, sees him like a younger brother.

Is that what it is? Doyoung sees him as a younger brother?

He doesn't ask about it. Doesn't mention it. Because he doesn't want want to bring it up, doesn't want Doyoung to feel awkward–

Because he doesn't want it to stop.

***

Lucas does pat Jungwoo on the back – very literally – and Jungwoo _thinks_.

He does it occasionally, but that's really the extent of their touch. They still have boundaries, despite sharing a living space. On this particular occasion, Lucas is encouraging him to go to bed. Earlier than usual, at least.

It makes Jungwoo narrow his eyes at nothing, until he clears his throat and builds up the courage to ask – _say_ : “You don't touch me a lot.”

Lucas stops. Looks at Jungwoo like he's said something he doesn't understand, used slang that Lucas won't get.

But Jungwoo just stares. Lucas blinks and shakes his head. “Uhm,” he starts. “Do you... want me to touch you?”

Jungwoo shrugs. “No, but…” He stops. “We've been in the same room so long, and you just don't do that a lot.”

_Not like other people_ , he doesn't say.

Lucas keeps his eyes on him for a while. Blinks and shifts his head. This runs deep – deeper than Jungwoo wants to admit, but he _won't_.

Lucas _knows_ that he won't. Not now.

But he does say, “Okay,” and then, “As long as you're okay.”

Jungwoo doesn't miss a beat. “I _am_ ,” he says. Because he is. “It's-it's not really you.”

Lucas blinks at him.

“Isn't it?”

Jungwoo feels his cheeks redden at his tone. It's definitely _not_ what Lucas as thinking, and simply seeing it that way makes him flush.

He busies himself with tidying his bedsheets. Lucas doesn't say anything to him while he does, and Jungwoo is reminded of what Johnny told him before.

_“Things are only weird if you make them weird. We're pretty unconventional, here.”_


End file.
